Why We Should Not Trust John McCain

Dear Sister TDGC,

I know this may come as somewhat of a shock for you, especially in your delicate condition, but I thought you should learn about it from me rather than reading it on the Internets. Faux Baptist John McCain has gone and picked your beloved Hilton Head Island, S.C. as a backdrop to announce that he has been lying all of these years when he said he was an Episcopalian. He now claims to be a Baptist, says he has been all along, although he was not Baptized fully immersed and does not speak of his relationship with Jesus Christ as his personal Savior. Nor, would it seem, has he ever washed a foot in his whole life, other than his own.

The Associated Press reported today that:

“Republican presidential candidate John McCain, who has long identified himself as an Episcopalian, said this weekend that he is a Baptist and has been for years. Campaigning in this conservative, predominantly Baptist state, McCain called himself a Baptist when speaking to reporters Sunday and noted that he and his family have been members of the North Phoenix Baptist Church in his home state of Arizona for more than 15 years. “It’s well known because I’m an active member of the church,” the Arizona senator said. While McCain has long talked about his family’s and his own attendance at the Arizona church, he appears to have consistently referred to himself as Episcopalian in media reports.”

So, he’s a Baptist in South Carolina, but an Episcopalian when he speaks to the JCM (Jewish Controlled Media) in D.C., the District of Corruption? Now, for my money, if he is a Baptist, The Manchurian Candidate should be washed in the blood of the Lamb everywhere he goes. He should be proclaiming and relating his participation in the foot washing of the Saints. He should be on “Meet the Press”, not jabbering Faux-Jew-approved talking points, but trying to save, with testimony and praise of the Lord, that fat little know-it-all Papist whiner, Timmy Russert, instead of bragging on how he works so well with Faux Jew Democrat Lieberal Russ Feingold in their hateful campaign to limit free speech. What does he do in Jew York City? Put on one of them skullcaps and tell jokes in Yiddish? When he’s in Chicago, does he dance drunk with the Papists on St. Patrick’s Day up and down Clark Street? And, I don’t even want to think about what his antics in Salt Lake City might be! Mercy!

I have long said that we should be wary of this man. Now, I know, he served honorably in the Viet Namanese war and was tortured and endured many harsh things in the Hanoi Hilton at the hands of those heathen, rat-eating gooksters. He deserves our thanks for that horrible sacrifice. But, what else was done to him in there? Were things done to him that he doesn’t realize? Did some Rooskie hypnotize him into thinking a room full of darkish and chinky-looking Commie Party men was a meeting of respectable white ladies from a garden club? Is somebody going to come along and show President McCain a Queen of Hearts and make him hand over the whole blame apparatus to the dad-burned Chinamen? Hence, my hesitation, as you can easily see.

It is very plain to see from numerous publicly available photographs from the Internets how his own family knew at a very early age that this child was unsuitable, that perhaps there was a Child of Ham in the woodpile or another horse kicking in the Admiral’s stall, if you know what I mean.

As you know, I served in the Navy with the Senator’s father and have a great deal of admiration for him. In fact, he was one of the finest men I ever knew in my life. What a splendid officer the Manchurian Candidate’s Father was and what a deformed thief his son has proved to be.

One day, an officer came up to me and told me to report to the helipad at once. He said I was to be temporarily transferred along with a Navy doctor to the USS LaSalle. I was real excited because I had never been in a helicopter before. I went up there and got in the helicopter and the young doctor was there, and, as I am a Freewill Baptist, he was as green as grass and sweating oil something fierce. (I believe he may have been Greek.) He wouldn’t speak to me the whole trip. I can’t swear, but I think he may have evacuated his bowels on take off and was embarrassed. It sure stank in there. I never saw him again.

Anyway, we got on the LaSalle and I was escorted up to the Wardroom, and found myself in front of Admiral McCain, the father of The Manchurian Candidate, the present Senator from Arizona, who is still pretending to run for President, despite God’s obvious wish that he stop.

Anyway, Admiral McCain said I was to be detailed to the LaSalle for an indefinite period and was going to be assigned as the enlisted hygienics officer with a promotion in grade and pay and wide latitude in my portfolio. He told me that the NIS (Naval Investigative Services) had suggested me as a candidate for this august position. I was very thankful for this and of course I said “Aye, Aye, Admiral” and asked permission to ask a question. I told Admiral McCain I had only been in the Navy a few months and I had never heard of an enlisted hygienics officer and was unsure of my duties. For some reason, Admiral McCain got real mad then. He said, “Sailor, you are going to teach all those ignorant ni**ers and hillbillies how to properly clean their damn c**ks! Every level of the foredecks smells like gorgonzola!”

Well, I was so bumfuzzled by it all, I thought he said “clocks” and I said, “But, Sir, I have no special training in hand to hand combat.”

And then Admiral McCain got even madder. He screamed “G.D. it, man! They aren’t going to fight you over it!” And, by golly, he turned out to be right. Everything between me and them men turned out to be just fine and dandy and Admiral McCain later decorated me and told me he was real proud of how I whipped them all into shape.

I never thought the Senator came up to his Dad as a man and I have said that in public many times, even at Legion and VFW meetings.

Please pray to Jesus that this puny, old, sweater-wearing, crazy man drops out or that his cancer comes back. We Baptist Republicans need a REAL candidate!

YIC
Brother Yancy